


Lawkeepers: A New Begining

by aflawedfashion



Category: Defiance (TV)
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/F, Femslash, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-11-18 22:54:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11300535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aflawedfashion/pseuds/aflawedfashion
Summary: After Amanda gives Irisa a Lawkeeper's badge, Irisa and Berlin grow closer as they track down a bioman.My 20th Defiance Fic!





	1. Chapter 1

For the first time in longer than Irisa could remember, she felt genuinely nervous. Not afraid, nervous, the all consuming kind of nervous that made her want to run away on a land coach rather than face her problems. Although packing up and leaving town had long been a habit of hers, she had never left a town because of her nerves. In the past, she had believed that something better existed beyond the borders, something she needed to experience. There were so many adventures to be had, but towns were stagnant and suffocating, places to pass through for supplies while she judged the inhabitants who lived like mice in a cage. 

At least that's how she used to feel, and then Nolan fell in love with the town of Defiance and the mayor who ran it. And Irisa loved Nolan, so she stayed for him. She stayed in a town she didn't understand, believing she was just there for Nolan or for Irzu, but never for herself. Then Irzu faded away, and eventually Nolan left, but Irisa still stayed. She had so many opportunities to leave, and she could get on a land coach at any time, but she knew she wouldn't.

Every time Irisa walked past the man selling land coach tickets, she diverted her eyes, pushing aside any thought of leaving. She had stumbled into a life in Defiance, a life with responsibilities, a life with a few people who were sort of her friends and several who were her enemies, and a life with whatever Berlin was becoming to her. 

Most importantly, she had Amanda, the woman whose hollow, well rehearsed smiles and refusal to talk about what had happened to Nolan was eating away at Irisa. She didn't regret encouraging Nolan to save the Omec, but it came at the expense of breaking Amanda's heart and leaving her short her most trusted lawkeeper. Irisa would do anything she could to help Amanda, to help the only person who shared her grief over Nolan’s absence. She knew she couldn't replace him, but she wanted to make Amanda proud of her and show her that she could be trusted. She had failed so many times as deputy, but she refused to fail this time.

So that's how the Amazing Goddess of the Badlands ended up standing outside the lawkeeper's office with her stomach in knots as she tried to summon the courage to go inside. Irisa thought she had numbed her nerves long ago, but living in Defiance had made her soft. She pursed her lips, trying to find the woman she had been just three years earlier. She desperately needed some of her courage.

Irisa knew she was being foolish. It was just a badge, a small metal object not so different from the one Nolan had pinned to her shirt years ago. And it was just Berlin, a woman she could, for the first time, call an ally in this chupped up world. There was no reason to be nervous about anything. At least that's what Irisa told herself as she pushed open the doors with her head held high, and she almost managed to convince herself it was true until she took one look at Berlin sitting behind the desk, peering down the barrel of Tommy’s gun.

“Hey,” Berlin said, her eyes briefly flickering up to meet Irisa’s before turning back to her gun. “You ok? You look like you’re here to tell me someone died.” 

Irisa didn’t answer, her eyes transfixed by Berlin’s hands as they expertly worked the weapon she could so easily shoot Irisa with if this conversation didn’t go well.

Berlin paused, looking straight into Irisa’s eyes as she slammed the gun on the desk a little harder than necessary. “Oh god. Did someone die? Did you kill someone?”

Irisa shook her head. “I didn’t kill anyone.”

“Good. And don’t scare me like that,” Berlin said. “I’m not sure I like you enough yet to help you hide the body.” She paused, flipping her ponytail off her shoulder. “Well, I guess it would depend on the person you killed. I’d help you bury Datak Tarr no questions asked.”

“I'll keep that in mind.”

Berlin smiled and returned to her gun.

“Amanda gave me this.” Irisa unfolded her fist to reveal the lawkeeper’s badge she had been holding so tightly that the outline of the insignia was imprinted on her palm.

Berlin slowly moved her eyes down the gun and across the room until they landed on Irisa’s outstretched hand. “Lawkeeper, huh?”

“Yeah,” Irisa said cautiously, trying to remember all the comebacks to Berlin’s protests that she had thought up on the walk from Amanda’s office.

“Congratulations.”

“Congratulations?” 

“Yeah, congratulations,” Berlin said. “Generally that’s what you say when someone gets a promotion.”

“Isn’t this the part of the conversation where you get mad?”

“Why would it be?” Berlin asked without looking at Irisa as she got up to get a part from the cabinet. She was acting like she hardly cared that Amanda had made them partners, but Irisa couldn't understand how that could be true.

“Because lawkeeper is your job,” Irisa said as she spun to follow Berlin across the room, wishing Berlin would start the inevitable fight or storm out of the office. She wanted to get it over with.

Berlin leaned against the cabinet. “And it was Nolan’s job too. Besides, it's better than you staying a deputy and me becoming your boss. That would be weird. At least when Nolan was here, we both reported to him, and I know Amanda's not ready to fill his position which means we both report to her now.” Berlin smiled. “So I guess it's kind of like we both got a promotion into Nolan's job by default.”

“But I didn’t earn this,” Irisa said.

Berlin laughed as she stepped closer to Irisa. “And you think I did? Or Nolan? Don’t kid yourself, Irisa. Lawkeeper is a job Amanda gives to lost dogs who don’t have a chupping clue what they’re doing. You just need to be good with a gun…” Berlin reached over Irisa’s shoulder and pulled a knife from the holster strapped to her back. “Or knives.” She paused, spinning the knife in her hand. “Next thing you know, Amanda’s handing you a badge and telling you to keep the peace in this town, and it’s your job to figure out how.”

“So we’re good?”

“Yeah. We’re good… Well, there is one thing.” Berlin pointed the knife at the desk. “Who gets the good desk?”

Irisa shook her head in confusion. She had honestly never given the desk any thought. Both desks were nothing more than uncomfortable metal objects as far as she was concerned.

“This is the desk everyone sees when they walk into the office,” Berlin said. “And whoever sits here will be seen as the lawkeeper.”

“Nolan used the other desk all the time.”

“Nolan is a scruffy 6 foot tall man with a gun. He wins on default of looking like a lawkeeper stereotype. We have to work a little harder.”

“Yesterday I was still a deputy,” Irisa said. “You've been a lawkeeper longer. It should be yours.” It only seemed logical. What did a desk matter, anyway?

“I didn't know you were such a pushover.” Berlin arched her eyebrows at Irisa, and she instantly changed her mind. She couldn't resist the challenge. Suddenly, all she cared about was claiming a beat up old desk as her own.

Irisa smirked, signaling she was ready to fight for the desk like it was made of pure gold. Berlin bit her lip in response as she set the knife on the cabinet, accepting the challenge. The knife was barely out of Berlin's hand when the two women darted towards the chair that sat beside the desk. Their elbows knocked into each other as they ran with matching grins on their faces.

Irisa landed in the chair with all the grace she could manage only a fraction of a second before Berlin landed in her lap. They were a tangle of limbs and messy hair piled into a chair that hardly contained them.

“So, I guess it’s mine,” Irisa said, looking into Berlin’s eyes with smug satisfaction.

Berlin blew her hair out of her face. “I don’t give up that easily,” she said, wrapping an arm around Irisa's shoulders, steadying herself as she moved her face closer to Irisa’s. 

“We’ll see about that,” Irisa said.

“Really?” Berlin shifted in Irisa's lap, her amusement shining through her eyes.

“What are you going to do about it?” Irisa asked.

Berlin flashed Irisa a devious smile that made Irisa acutely aware that Berlin was sitting on her thighs with her arm slung over her shoulders. Whatever Berlin might be planning, she wasn’t sure she’d protest. She might even help.

“Ahem,” someone coughed from across the room, and Irisa looked away from Berlin to see Deputy Poole standing in the doorway with his arms crossed.

Berlin sat up straight, repositioning herself on Irisa’s lap in a way that did nothing to make them look more professional.

Poole looked back and forth between the two of them. “What are you doing?”

“Deciding which one of us gets the good desk,” Berlin said with no embarrassment, like this was a completely reasonable way to settle an argument.

Poole’s head dropped, and he rolled his eyes. “Hold on.”

Irisa spun the chair to watch Poole walk into the back room like he had some kind of secret plan. As soon as he disappeared from sight, Berlin turned to Irisa with a shrug and an upturned smile that allowed Irisa to see the woman behind the sass and anger. That smile belonged to the woman Tommy described falling in love with, the woman who had disappeared behind grief and fear for too long. 

Irisa returned the smile, wanting to hold on to the moment as long as possible. Berlin's eyes were wide and happy, her cheeks pink with excitement, her face free from tension. Irisa had never noticed how beautiful she looked when she was happy. She never had the chance. Her heart warmed as she was overcome by this new side of Berlin, but their gaze was quickly broken by the loud thud of falling furniture coming from the back room.

Before Irisa could decide if she should get up to help him, he emerged, dragging a sad looking wooden chair behind his back. “One desk. Two chairs,” he said as he pushed the chair up to the desk. “And that makes the other desk my desk. Now everyone is happy.” 

“This is not a chair,” Berlin said, side eyeing the object with disgust. Her hair brushed across Irisa’s face as she turned to face Poole. “This is a student’s woodworking project gone wrong.” 

“You two can fight over the chair later, or you can continue to enjoy yourselves in a chair at home... on your own time.” He winked at Berlin, and Irisa wished she could see Berlin’s reaction. Did she wink back? Did she glare? Irisa knew Berlin and Poole were in the E-Rep together, but she didn’t know how close they were. They seemed like friends. “Whatever it is you need to do, do it later. There’s no time for that right now. Some shtako is happening in the Hollows, and they need the lawkeeper. Hail Amanda for more details.” 

“Lawkeepers now,” Berlin said, emphasizing the plural. “Irisa got a promotion today.” 

“Congratulations, and good luck.” He turned to leave. “Hope you don’t get killed by a bioman on your first day at the job.” 

“Thanks…” Irisa said, watching him walk away. 

“You really want me on this?” Irisa asked as the door closed behind Poole.

“Yes, I said that already. I’m fine with you as a lawkeeper. Why don’t you believe me?” 

“Did you forget the entire last year?” 

“Right. Well, that’s over,” Berlin said as she slid off Irisa’s lap and extended her hand to help Irisa up. “Let’s go take down a bioman.” 


	2. Chapter 2

“Hello?” Irisa called into the dark alley, but the only sound she could hear was Berlin breathing heavily beside her. Berlin was scared, and it was making Irisa scared. After months on the sidelines, she was out of practice, and with the sun going down, every shadow seemed like a potential threat. For the second time that day she wished for a little help from the woman she used to be. 

“Lawkeepers,” Berlin added, her voice calmer than her face looked. “We’re not here to arrest you. We just want to talk.” 

They shared a look as they waited for a response, but they seemed to be the only two people in the Hollows, something Irisa knew was extremely unlikely. Someone was hiding from them.

“You really think this is the right way?” Berlin whispered to Irisa, as the they began walking deeper into the alley, paper crunching so loudly beneath their feet, they might as well have been shooting off firecrackers to announce their presence.

“I don’t know,” Irisa said, moving closer to Berlin and her large gun. As much as Irisa preferred the grace of a knife, Berlin looked like she could take down a hellbug from where she was standing. It was comforting to have her at her side.

“They could be anywhere,” Berlin said.

“Just stay quiet.”

“Shtako!” Berlin yelled as she sank to the ground, her foot caught in a thin, but deep vent leading beneath the street. The sound of her gun slamming into the gravel beneath their feet echoed off the walls.

“That's not what I meant by quiet,” Irisa whispered as she knelt down to help free Berlin. Irisa had meant it as a joke, but it was hard to joke when you were scared and trying to speak without using your voice.

“I couldn't help it,” Berlin whispered. 

“I know.” Irisa smiled an apology at Berlin, trying to let her know she wasn't mad. This could have happened to anyone.

As Irisa tried to help free Berlin, a dusty handprint on the wall caught her attention. “Look.” Irisa pointed to the handprint. 

“That’s from a bioman,” Berlin said, worry rising in her voice. “We’re about to encounter a bioman while I can’t move.”

“Come on, we have to get you free.” Irisa tried to pull Berlin out, but her boot laces were caught. “How the hell did you get this stuck?”

“I don’t know. I was just walking… and then I wasn’t.” 

“Maybe if you-” Irisa was cut off by the sound of heavy footsteps walking towards them. They snapped their heads up, peering into the darkness where the noise originated, but Irisa didn’t see the source of the noise.

“Nevermind,” Irisa said, her voice turning frantic against her will. “Just take off your boot.”

“How?” 

“I don't know. Just get it off!” 

“I’m trying!” 

“Just-”

“Ladies,” a deep voice said, cutting Irisa off mid sentence. Taking shallow, fearful breaths, they turned to find a bioman watching them like they were raccoons who got into his garage. “What are you doing here?”

“We, were just here to-” Before Irisa could finish giving an honest explanation, Berlin covered Irisa’s mouth with her hand.

“We were just out for a walk,” Berlin said, letting her hand drop to Irisa’s waist, pulling her gently against her side. “You know, just looking for a quiet place to be alone, but I caught my foot in this vent here. As soon as we’re free, we’ll be on our way.” 

“You shouldn’t have seen this.”

“Seen what? We didn’t see anything,” Berlin said. It was the truth. From Amanda's description, they only vaguely knew that some kind of shtako was supposed to go down. They didn't even know who his boss was, and they hadn't found any evidence of anything he had done.

“We were preoccupied.” Irisa tried to put on her best embarrassed face, a pathetic attempt at going along with Berlin’s alibi. “With flirting and kissing,” she rushed to add when he didn't seem convinced. Irisa didn't know why she was still talking. She wasn't good at it. Silent and menacing was more her style.

Berlin widened her eyes at Irisa, urging her to shut up without any need to say the words, and she knew her acting was as bad as she suspected.

“Don’t play innocent,” he said.

“We’re not playing anything.” Berlin attempted a forced smile that Irisa could see right through, but she hoped the bioman couldn’t. 

A clanking noise from behind the bioman grabbed his attention, and Irisa took the opportunity to whisper in Berlin's ear, “Get your shoe off, and when I give the signal, hit him in the ass. Hard.”

Berlin nodded as the bioman turned back to them. “Did you say something to her?” He stepped forward. “Are you planning something?”

“I just said that she should take her shoe off if she wants to get free.” Irisa stood and began backing away slowly. 

“We don’t know what it is we’re looking at, and we don’t care,” Berlin said. “I just want to get my foot out so we can go home.”

“You’re wearing a lawkeeper’s badge, and lawkeepers are the enemy.”  

“You know how this town is,” Berlin said, finally managing to yank her foot out of her boot. “The mayor cares more about keeping the peace of the town as a whole than whatever petty crime you're involved in.”

“Bigger fish,” Irisa added, still stepping backwards, leading the bioman into position as he followed her.

“Yeah.” Berlin was desperately trying to rescue her boot from the vent as she spoke, the words tumbling rapidly out of her mouth. “She lets Stahma Tarr roam free. You really think she cares about you? She doesn't even know who you are.”

Irisa kept taking small steps backwards. She was almost in position. 

“I don’t know about that,” he said. “My boss does not trust Ms. Rosewater.”

“Mayor Rosewater,” Irisa corrected. She needed him to keep following her, keep him engaged in the conversation until she had him where she wanted. The fire in his eyes told her correcting him might not be the smartest move unless her aim was to get knocked out by a bioman, but it was working. He was still following her. 

“You know how politicians are about their titles,” Berlin said, the worry evident in her voice. Irisa was glad this bioman didn’t know a thing about Amanda and didn’t seem at all perceptive to emotion, or else he’d see right through their bullshtak arguments.

“But she’s nothing to worry about,” Irisa said as she gestured for Berlin to make her move.

“My boss-” His thought was interrupted by Berlin ramming into him, but instead of falling, he slowly turned to face her like he had just noticed a fly buzzing around his body. 

Irisa panicked. She grabbed Berlin's gun off the ground and smashed it against his chest, trying to get his attention on her instead of Berlin. 

“Shtako,” Irisa said as the weapon fell to the ground, but it did the trick. He narrowed his eyes at her. She ducked as he swung a slow, heavy punch in her direction. Fighting him would be useless. She knew she had to stay on the defensive. Irisa came back up expecting him to take another swing at her, but as she prepared to duck again, Berlin rammed into him. 

That time he fell with a thud that could have woken the whole neighborhood.

Berlin scrambled to her feet before he could land on her. “That was a close one.” 

“Yeah, it was,” Irisa replied as she turned her attention to the fallen bioman. “I don’t think we can get him out of here on our own.” She kicked him in the side, wondering how Nolan ever made a hobby out of fighting something that seemed to be made of solid muscle. “We’ll need a roller. Maybe a wagon. Get him locked up before talking to him. We can interrogate him later.”

When Berlin didn’t say anything, Irisa turned to see her touching the broken gun on the ground. 

Irisa’s heart sank. She knew how much that gun meant to Berlin. “I wasn’t thinking,” Irisa said. “I should have used something else. It's an antique. Of course it can't withstand smashing into a bioman.” 

Berlin looked in Irisa’s direction, but her eyes refused to meet Irisa’s. “No, you didn’t have a choice. I know. And you just saved our asses.” 

“But-”

“Don’t,” Berlin said as her eyes darted around. “Look, I’ll go tell Amanda we found him. You got this?” 

“Berlin, I’m sorry,” Irisa said, grabbing her arm, and forcing her to look into her eyes. “I’m sorry.” 

Berlin nodded, pushing her lips into a false smile before pulling her arm away. 

Irisa knelt beside the gun. “Maybe we can fix it,” she said, but when she looked up, Berlin was already gone. Irisa was standing alone in a dark alley next to a fallen bioman and feeling worse than he looked. 

Irisa pulled her hailer out of her pocket and selected Poole’s name on the small screen. “We got the bioman. He’s out cold in the alley behind butcher shop, but I need you to come get him.” She was finished speaking before she remembered she didn’t say hello.

“Why can’t you do it?” He sounded half asleep, and his annoyance was palpable.

“I have something else I have to take care of.”

“You owe me,” he said, and she hung up without saying anything else. She didn’t have the time or the patience to continue that conversation. 

Looking at the broken gun on the ground, she winced. “What are you made of?” she asked the unconscious bioman as she gathered the gun in her hands.


	3. Chapter 3

Irisa banged on the door of the gunsmith’s home. “Wake up! I know you’re in there! This will all be over faster if you just come out now!” She tried her best to wait patiently for him to respond, but she didn't have time for him to ignore her. Seconds felt like minutes. “I’ll pound on your door all night if I have to, so it’s in your best interest to open up now!” 

She swung her arm to bang on the door again, but she halted with her fist in mid air as the door flew open. The gunsmith poked his head out, his face only inches from her outstretched arm. The old Castithan man’s wide eyes told her he feared taking a fist to the jaw, but he was in no danger. Irisa barely understood why she reacted the way she did anymore, but her physical reflexes were as sharp as ever.

“Are you here to arrest me?” he asked, his voice trembling. 

“No.” 

“Did something happen?” His eyes widened more than Irisa would have thought possible.  “My son… Is he ok?”

Irisa shook her head. “He’s fine. I think. I don't know.” She was practically buzzing with anxiety, and answering his inane questions made her feel like she might explode. “He could be dead in a ditch for all I know. I don’t even know who your son is.”

The man straightened his shoulders. “Then what is this about?” His voice was defensive, his body prepared to fight. 

“This.” Irisa held the cracked, bent metal object that used to be a gun in front of him.

“A broken gun?” 

“I need it fixed.” 

“That’s what you’re doing here?” the man asked as his face visibly relaxed.

“Yes.”

“You pound on my door in the middle of the night and scare me half to death… so that I’ll fix your gun?” 

“Yes.” She couldn't understand why he kept asking questions. She just wanted him to fix the gun. What more explanation could he need? That was his job. She was asking him to do it.

“You’re a deputy.” The anger rising in his voice told Irisa it wasn’t a good time to bring up her promotion. “Don’t even try to tell me that this is your only gun. It’s not even a particularly good gun.”

“It's important,” Irisa said, trying to manage her annoyance.

He frowned in disgust at the gun. “It looks old.”

“I don’t care if it’s old or not. I don’t even like guns. I just need it fixed. Now.”

“You can come back in the morning when my shop is open.” He began to close the door in her face. “I'll fix it then.”

Irisa pushed the door open. “I need it now,” she hissed.

He sighed, his eyes trailing down her body until they landed on the holster strapped to her leg. “You're not going to stab me with those knives are you?”

The sarcasm dripping from his voice told her he was joking, but she glared at him, knowing it would come off as a legitimate threat. Silent and menacing. Unlike her acting skills, that tactic never failed her. He didn’t need to know she would never stab him for slamming the door in her face. For the first time, she was thankful for her reputation as a cold blooded murderer.

“Fine.” His face drooped in resignation. “I’m already awake, and it doesn’t seem like you’re planning to leave any time soon. I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thank you.” Relief washed over her, and her entire body relaxed. 

“Oh, so now you’re polite.” 

“My father made sure I had manners.” 

The man raised his eyebrows.

“He taught me to say thank you at least.”

He rolled his eyes and let out a long, tired sigh. “What happened to it, anyway?”

“It got smashed by a bioman.”

The man unhinged his jaw, looking hopelessly at the gun in Irisa’s hands. “This isn’t going to be cheap.” 

“I’ll pay it.” She would pay her entire month’s salary if that was what it took to fix her mistake.

“Come on in, I’ll make you some tea and you can tell me about this bioman.” He took the gun from her hands. “I've never met one in person.”

“They're not that interesting.”

“Of course they are. They're bioengineered fighting men, and I've heard rumors that they act like puppies around their owners - loyal to a fault.” He paused looking into her eyes with a childlike curiosity. “Is that true?”

“Yes,” Irisa stated.

“Truly fascinating.” He motioned for her to follow. “And I expect you to tell me all about them. You wake me up in the middle of the night, you provide the conversation to keep me awake.” 

“Ok,” Irisa agreed. She would rather have paid him a second month’s salary, but she didn't think she had much of a choice. 

As she watched the man work on Berlin's gun, Irisa spent hours telling him stories of biomen and life in the badlands. It may have been the longest conversation of her entire life. By the time the gun was in working order, the sun was up and Irisa was starving, but she headed straight for the lawkeeper’s office, hoping Berlin would be there when she arrived. 

“Morning,” she said to Poole as she walked past him buying vegetables in the market.

Poole stopped in his tracks. “Did you take something?” He leaned forward and whispered, “Have any more? It seems like good stuff.”

“I'm not on anything.”

“Really?” Poole stared at her long enough to make Irisa squirm. “Because you just said ‘morning.’”

“It is morning.”

“Yes, but I've never seen you happy about that fact. In fact, I've never seen you happy about much of anything.”

“I’m in a good mood, ok. I’m allowed to be in a good mood.”

He turned his head to the side. “Are you sure you didn’t take anything?”

“I didn't,” Irisa snapped, causing Poole to jump back.

As he recovered from the surprise, his eyes lit up. “That’s the Irisa I know.”

Irisa rolled her eyes and continued walking to the lawkeeper’s office. Irisa was annoyed, but Poole was right. It had been a long time since Irisa felt this happy. She pulled the doors open with the genuine confidence she lacked the day before. 

“Here.” Irisa set the gun on the desk in front of Berlin. 

“What’s this?” Berlin asked, pushing aside the file she had been reading.

“Tommy’s gun.” 

“Tommy’s gun was destroyed by a bioman.” 

“I fixed it.” Irisa beamed with pride. She knew this would make everything better. It had to. If this didn’t work, she didn’t know what else she could do.

“You fixed it?” Berlin asked, a strange caution in her voice. Her face was pale, the usual pinkness drained from her cheeks.

“Not personally.” Irisa looked to the gun, a pit building in her stomach. “I paid someone to fix it.” 

Berlin flipped the gun over, examining it every inch of it. “Who is open in the middle of the night to fix a gun?”

“Anyone if you bang on their door long enough and imply you might stab them if they don't do what you want.” It wasn't the first time she had done that, and it had never failed her once.

“Thank you,” Berlin said so quietly that Irisa doubted her sincerity. Nolan had taught her long ago that humans expected perfunctory politeness. They were always lying to each other in a misguided attempt to spare each other’s feelings. Irisa had accepted the strange custom, but it was frustratingly impossible to tell the difference between false and genuine gratitude.

“Is something wrong with it?” Irisa asked, searching Berlin’s face for clues to her true feelings.

“No.” Berlin let out a laugh, meeting Irisa’s gaze with what could only be described as wonder. “It’s practically perfect. Better than ever.”

“So you’re really happy with it? You’re not lying to spare my feelings?”

“I thought you knew me better than that.” Berlin laughed as she shook her head. “Have I ever lied to spare your feelings, to spare  _ anyone’s  _ feelings?”

Irisa smiled as she looked into Berlin’s bright brown eyes. “No, you haven’t.”


	4. Chapter 4

“It’s amazing, but why are you giving it to me?” Berlin asked. 

“Because it’s yours.” Irisa’s wide-eyed, freckled face was filled with a strange combination of hope and regret, like the weight of the world was resting on an old gun. Berlin had never seen Irisa look at anyone like that, least of all her.

“It's not mine.” Berlin's voice came out quieter than she intended as she set the gun down. “It's not anyone's, not anymore.”

“It’s yours now.”

“I don't have any right to it.” Berlin stepped back, her gaze lingering on the gun. She had spent the entire night convincing herself it was just an inanimate object, not something worth caring about. Taking it back from Irisa felt like a step in the wrong direction.

“You loved him. That gives you the right to it.” Irisa grabbed Berlin's hand, pressing the gun into her palm. “You should keep it to remember him by.”

“You loved him too.” Berlin looked into Irisa’s eyes, forcing herself not to look at the gun. “You said it yourself.”

“Doesn’t matter.” Tears filled Irisa’s eyes. “It’s yours.” Her voice cracked.

“Irisa…” Berlin trailed off, searching Irisa’s face for a hint at what she needed her to say. She was torn between wanting to cry along with Irisa and running out of the room, but she knew she needed to find the perfect words to stop them from falling into bad habits. 

“I don't want to talk about me,” Irisa said. “I just want you to be happy like you were yesterday before I ruined everything.”

As Berlin watched Irisa struggle with her feelings, she felt like her heart might burst. A quiet voice in the back of her mind still resisted caring for Irisa, but she silenced it. What Irisa had done for her was sweet. “Maybe we should hang it up on the wall,” she said as she held up the gun. “That way we can all remember him.”

“No.” Irisa vigorously shook her head.

“Why not?” 

“Because I killed him.”

“A machine killed him.” Berlin spoke slowly, trying her best not to sound as exasperated as she felt. “That’s what you’ve been telling me all along. I finally agree with you, and you tell me it’s not true?” 

“If we hang it up, it will just be a reminder that he's gone. At least if you have it, a part of him lives on.”

“I understand.” And she did understand, more than Irisa knew. “I won't hang it up here, but I need you to know that I forgive you, that I understand it was a machine who killed him. I want to move on from that.” 

“I don't,” Irisa said. 

“What? Why?” Berlin shook her head. “You just said you wanted me to be happy, and what I need to be happy is for us to be ok.” Berlin sighed in frustration. “I don’t understand why you don’t want that too.”

“Because I killed-” 

“Stop.”

“No.” 

“It’s over!”

“I can’t let it be over!” Irisa’s voice broke with the weight of her pain.

“Why not?” Berlin took a breath, forcing herself to calm down. She knew they could never put their lives back together if they kept fighting. “Do you really want this? Do you really want us to be shouting at each other in this office for the rest of our lives?” 

Irisa shook her head and softly mumbled, “No.”

“So why did you repair Tommy’s gun _for_ _me_ and then demand that I continue to hate you?” 

“To make things right, not so we could be friends.” Irisa paused. 

“You don't want us to be friends?” Berlin’s heart dropped. She had assumed she was the problem in their relationship, not Irisa, not since the machine stopped controlling her. Berlin had worked so hard to forgive Irisa and let her into her life. She never thought Irisa wouldn’t want that.

“No, I do.” Irisa stared straight into Berlin’s eyes as she spoke. “I want to make everything right with you. I want to be your friend, but I  _ need _ you to hate me because I deserve your hatred.” 

“You don't deserve my hatred.” A year earlier Berlin would never have been able to say that, but now anything else would be a lie.

“I hate myself.” Tears flowed from Irisa’s eyes as she spoke. “You were the only one who treated me like I deserved to be treated. If you forgive me, then what? Where’s justice for Tommy? I murder him, and I get promoted to lawkeeper? That hardly seems fair.” 

“Nothing’s fair, Irisa. If I’ve learned anything it’s that life destroys everything, and all we can do is make the best of it before it destroys us too.” Berlin stepped forward, grabbing Irisa by the shoulders. “You've been punished enough.” 

The sadness in Irisa’s face transformed into a frown of defeat, of resignation.

“Have you slept at all?” Berlin asked. 

“No.” 

“Me either.” Berlin stepped back, massaging her temples. “I don’t think we’d be having this fight right now if either of us had slept.” 

“It was inevitable.”

“It shouldn’t have been.” Berlin wrapped her arms around Irisa, smushing their bodies into an awkward hug. “Because I know it wasn't you, and you know that too. It wasn't… my friend. It was a machine.”

Irisa relaxed into Berlin's arms, letting Berlin know it would be ok. They just needed more time. Berlin didn't care how much time it took; she would be there. She would make this work. 

With the weight of their feud lifted off her shoulders, Berlin forgot they were standing in a cold lawkeeper’s office, forgot there was an unconscious bioman in the cell behind them. Nothing could touch them. They were free from their past. Free to be happy. Free to live.

“You want to go get a drink when we're done here?” Berlin asked, wishing it was already 5pm.

Irisa nodded into Berlin's shoulder.

“Good,” Berlin said as she released Irisa from her arms. “I think we could both use one… or five.”

Irisa smiled as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

“I-” Berlin began to speak, but was interrupted by Amanda pulling the door open. As Amanda walked, she leaned to one side, moving carefully to avoid pain from the still-healing wound on her abdomen. Berlin doubted Amanda was ready to be back to work, but she knew better than to take it up with her again. As long as she didn't break open her stitches, it was better than the alternative. Working occupied her mind, gave her something to do other than wallow in a glass of scotch at 8am. 

“Hey, Amanda,” Berlin said, trying to sound casual as Irisa turned away, hiding her tear stained face from her boss.

“Everything ok,” Amanda asked, looking in Irisa’s direction.

“Yeah,” Berlin said before mouthing, “Don't ask.”

Amanda nodded in understanding. “So you got him.” She pointed to the powered-down bioman in the cell. 

“Yes, and I think we deserve a raise for catching a bioman. Do you know how huge they are?”

Amanda rolled her eyes. “Controlling bioman when their bosses send them on illegal assignments is in your contract. It's one of your basic duties.”

“No, it's not.”

“Did you read your contract?” Amanda asked.

“Of course I re-” Berlin let her shoulders drop as Amanda watched her with one eyebrow raised. “I did not read it.”

Amanda shook her head in an exaggerated display of disappointment. “I'll have Bailey send you a copy, but first I need you to go check on Datak Tarr. Rumor has it, he's smuggling weapons into town again. I think he's trying to rebuild his criminal empire. You two up for it?” 

Irisa turned around and smiled at Berlin. Her eyes were bright, but still red from crying. “Yeah, we are.” 


End file.
